The changing relationship between teens and their parents or guardians is a reality experienced worldwide. As a teen, you naturally move from being a child dependent on your parents with rules to follow to a person craving more freedom and independence.
Still, it can be hard for both you and your parents to make that transition. While family dynamics vary from case to case, one thing’s for sure: we could all benefit from some helpful advice when it comes to communicating with our parents.
Below are some common complaints you may have with your parents and some suggestions on how to handle them while considering your parents’ point of view. Good luck!
Stay out of my life!
Parents develop the habit of taking care of you and they never quite give it a rest, not even when you’re grown. They can become concerned whenever they think you’re making a mistake or are going to hurt yourself. If roles were reversed, you’d probably do the same.
The first thing you should do is ensure them that they can trust you, perhaps by taking on more responsibility around the house or by getting a job. You should also establish some basic boundaries and let your parents know about them. Be patient and show them that you got this.
This is who I am.
Having an understanding of your parents’ life and where they are coming from will help you find a way to communicate with them. Struggling to keep your parents out of your life may be stemming from the fact that every parent has their own dreams for their child (for example, they might have their own opinion about the kind of people you should befriend or marry, your job choice, or even your daily routine). Intentionally or not, they may like you to do or avoid certain things because of their own convictions, beliefs, or aspirations.
Let your parents know what empowers you, and how you envision your present as well as future. Remember that parents want to see you happy, so sharing your perspective with them will be valuable for your relationship.
You just don’t get it.
The way you are experiencing life as a young person is going to be somewhat different from their own experience.
Don’t seal yourself in a world of solitude and anxiety, thinking there is no way your parents can understand you. As people who have watched you during your entire life, they may surprise you! Try your best to communicate your problem or situation with them.
You don’t always know what’s best for me.
While your parents might not be right with every decision they make, chances are they do want what is best for you.
Openly listen to their concerns and opinions and communicate the fact that what they want is not working for you because you are your own person, and that’s ok. Last but not least, ensure them that you have your own ways of dealing with the situation: after all, trust is something to build, so create it.
Finally, spending time with your parents is a good idea. Life may come between you, but every relationship is a two-way road and takes work.
Our state of happiness and health is so often dependent on our relationship with our parents, and we’re proud of you for putting in the work to better that relationship.
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